Alan Robarge, Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist

Alan Robarge

Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist

From Anxiety and Confusion to Clarity and Closeness in Your Relationships

THE FOUR ATTACHMENT

DISTRESS RESPONSES

What Is This Course All About?

When feeling triggered by attachment distress do you lead and respond from your anxiety? This course helps you identify default, self-protective behaviors that get in the way of staying emotionally open.

 

How we respond to emotional disconnect in our important relationships is linked to the Four Attachment Distress Responses of Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting.

 

I'm Alan Robarge, an Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator. I'm excited to tell you about my new course. I have taken the familiar trauma reactions of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn and expanded them to include relating strategies. I created a RELATIONAL model for when we are triggered and flooded by too much or not enough intimacy and vulnerability. ​I mapped out a blueprint for how most of us respond. Which of these describe your relationships?

  • Do you fight and yell and demand attention?
  • Do you withdraw, isolate, and keep others at “arm’s length”?
  • Do you stand silent with “big eyes” and go inside yourself?
  • Do you quickly smooth things over, cover up your hurt, and appear agreeable?

When our attachment bonds are compromised, distress shows up as fear and anxiety. Many of us will default to one of the Four Responses to manage this distress, specifically our Fight reaction becomes Poking, Flight becomes Running, Freeze becomes Hiding, and Fawn becomes Submitting.

From Anxiety and Confusion to Clarity and Closeness in Your Relationships

THE FOUR ATTACHMENT DISTRESS RESPONSES

What Is This Course All About?

When feeling triggered by attachment distress do you lead and respond from your anxiety? This course helps you identify default, self-protective behaviors that get in the way of staying emotionally open.

 

How we respond to emotional disconnect in our important relationships is linked to the Four Attachment Distress Responses of Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting.

 

I'm Alan Robarge, an Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator. I'm excited to tell you about my new course. I have taken the familiar trauma reactions of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn and expanded them to include relating strategies. I created a RELATIONAL model for when we are triggered and flooded by too much or not enough intimacy and vulnerability. ​I mapped out a blueprint for how most of us respond. Which of these describe your relationships?

  • Do you fight and yell and demand attention?
  • Do you withdraw, isolate, and keep others at “arm’s length?”
  • Do you stand silent with “big eyes” and go inside yourself?
  • Do you quickly smooth things over, cover up your hurt, and appear agreeable?

When our attachment bonds are compromised, distress shows up as fear and anxiety. Many of us will default to one of the Four Responses to manage this distress, specifically our Fight reaction becomes Poking, Flight becomes Running, Freeze becomes Hiding, and Fawn becomes Submitting.

From Anxiety and Confusion to Clarity and Closeness in Your Relationships

THE FOUR ATTACHMENT DISTRESS RESPONSES

What Is This Course All About?

When feeling triggered by attachment distress do you lead and respond from your anxiety? This course helps you identify default, self-protective behaviors that get in the way of staying emotionally open.

 

How we respond to emotional disconnect in our important relationships is linked to the Four Attachment Distress Responses of Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting.

 

I'm Alan Robarge, an Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator. I'm excited to tell you about my new course. I have taken the familiar trauma reactions of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn and expanded them to include relating strategies. I created a RELATIONAL model for when we are triggered and flooded by too much or not enough intimacy and vulnerability. ​I mapped out a blueprint for how most of us respond. Which of these describe your relationships?

  • Do you fight and yell and demand attention?
     
  • Do you withdraw, isolate, and keep others at “arm’s length?”
     
  • Do you stand silent with “big eyes” and go inside yourself?
     
  • Do you quickly smooth things over, cover up your hurt, and appear agreeable?

When our attachment bonds are compromised, distress shows up as fear and anxiety. Many of us will default to one of the Four Responses to manage this distress, specifically our Fight reaction becomes Poking, Flight becomes Running, Freeze becomes Hiding, and Fawn becomes Submitting.

Managing Attachment Distress Properly Can Make or Break a Relationship

Managing Attachment Distress Properly Can Make or Break a Relationship

Who This Course Is For ...

  • Need Choices? Distress Responses are mostly habitual and reactionary. Let's learn about choices.

  • Need Hope? Distress Responses leave us feeling discouraged. Let's learn how relationships improve.

  • Need Understanding? We don't know what we don't know. Let's acknowledge how common this is.

  • Need Change? We are sick and tired of relationship anxiety. Let's do something different.

  • Need Reassurance? Distress Responses make us feel all alone. Let's give ourselves some kindness.

  • Need Learning? This course offers you 16 videos, a journaling workbook, & downloadable transcripts.

Who This Course Is For...

  • Do You Need Choices? Distress Responses are mostly habitual and reactionary. Let's learn about choices.

  • Do You Need Hope? Distress Responses leave us feeling discouraged. Let's learn how relationships improve.

  • Do You Need Understanding? We don't know what we don't know. Let's acknowledge how common this is.

  • Do You Need Change? We are sick and tired of relationship anxiety. Let's do something different.

  • Do You Need Reassurance? Distress Responses make us feel all alone. Let's give ourselves some kindness.

  • Do You Need Learning? This course offers you 16 videos, journaling workbook, & downloadable transcripts.

Poking

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Poking Response means we use take-charge, controlling, dominant behaviors to manage distress.

Running

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Running Response means we use distancing and avoidance to manage  our distress.

Hiding

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Hiding Response means we obscure and guard against revealing ourselves to manage distress.

Submitting

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Submitting Response means we over-accommodate and deny ourselves to manage distress.

Distress Response: Poking

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Poking Response means we use take-charge, controlling, dominant behaviors to manage distress.

Distress Response: Running

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Running Response means we use distancing and avoidance to manage  our distress.

Distress Response: Hiding

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Hiding Response means we obscure and guard against revealing ourselves to manage distress.

Distress Response: Submitting

When emotional closeness triggers fear and anxiety around unmet needs, the Submitting Response means we over-accommodate and deny ourselves to manage distress.

What You'll Get ...

  • In-Depth Videos

    16 learning videos organized in three parts

  • Follow Along Workbook

    54 page learning manual

  • Downloadable Transcripts

    Complete transcripts with time stamps

  • Journal Questions

    Anchor learning with self-reflection prompts

  • Content Breakdown

    Distress Response Characteristics, Trauma Symptom Categories, Trauma Reactions, Distress Triggers, Core Fears, Aspirations for Change, and Attachment Styles Comparison

What Others Are Saying ...

"... comprehensive"

   "After having spent so much time in therapy and in study of myself, I have never before heard anyone break it down like this. It is so detailed and comprehensive. Tremendous thanks to you. You have touched my life with your generosity in taking the time to organize this and share it with us. I will take this and run with it."

"... shows me why"

   "Alan, this material is giving me life! The level of insight you bring is a true gift. I feel blessed to have stumbled across your work. I’ve been in therapy for years. I’m grateful for the work I’ve done, but no one has been able to make things so plain, and show me why I feel the way I feel. It's your honesty that makes it make sense."

"... fosters insight"

   "You have an extraordinary ability to communicate complicated aspects of personal relationships in a way that fosters insight and a great deal of comfort. Very well done Alan. This is an incredible effort and body of work. I feel like you’ve been privy to my relationships and very gently trying to bring me into focus."

What You'll Get ...

  • In-Depth Videos

    16 learning videos organized in three parts to go at your own pace.

  • Follow Along Workbook

    54 page learning manual to complement the videos.

  • Downloadable Transcripts

    Complete transcripts with time stamps to follow along.

  • Journal Questions

    Anchor your learning with self-reflection prompts for journaling.

  • Content Breakdown

    Distress Response Characteristics, Trauma Symptom Categories, Trauma Reactions, Distress Triggers, Core Fears, Aspirations for Change, Attachment Styles Comparison, and Check-In Reminders.

What You'll Get ...

  • In-Depth Videos

    16 learning videos organized in three parts to go at your own pace.

  • Follow Along Workbook

    54 page learning manual to complement the videos.

  • Downloadable Transcripts

    Complete transcripts with time stamps to follow along.

  • Journal Questions

    Anchor your learning with self-reflection prompts for journaling.

  • Content Breakdown

    Distress Response Characteristics, Trauma Symptom Categories, Trauma Reactions, Distress Triggers, Core Fears, Aspirations for Change, Attachment Styles Comparison, and Check-In Reminders.

​Why This Course is Good for you?

Receive 16 Learning Videos

  • Welcome Video​

    Introduction to the Course

  • Video 1

    Attachment Distress Response Overview

  • Video 2

    Trauma Symptom Categories

  • Video 3

    Naming Four Trauma Reactions

  • Video 4

    Attachment Distress Response Poking

  • Video 5

    Attachment Distress Response Running

  • Video 6

    Attachment Distress Response Hiding

  • Video 7

    Attachment Distress Response Submitting

  • Video 8​

    Course Check-In for Self-Care

  • Video 9

    Map Distress Triggers - Part One

  • Video 10

    Map Distress Triggers - Part Two

  • Video 11

    Naming Core Fears

  • Video 12

    The Four Aspirations for Change

  • Video 13

    The Four Practices for Change

  • Video 14

    Compare to Attachment Styles

  • Video 15

    Integration After the Course

What Others Are Saying ...

"... comprehensive"

   "After having spent so much time in therapy and in study of myself, I have never before heard anyone break it down like this. It is so detailed and comprehensive. Tremendous thanks to you. You have touched my life with your generosity in taking the time to organize this and share it with us. I will take this and run with it."

"... shows me why"

   "Alan, this material is giving me life! The level of insight you bring is a true gift. I feel blessed to have stumbled across your work. I’ve been in therapy for years. I’m grateful for the work I’ve done, but no one has been able to make things so plain, and show me why I feel the way I feel. It's your honesty that makes it make sense."

"... fosters insight"

   "You have an extraordinary ability to communicate complicated aspects of personal relationships in a way that fosters insight and a great deal of comfort. Very well done Alan. This is an incredible effort and body of work. I feel like you’ve been privy to my relationships and very gently trying to bring me into focus."

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is this course for?

What is the time commitment?

Is there a community support group?

How long is this sale available?

Do I need to be in a partner relationship?

What if I'm afraid of this course content?

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is this course for?

People who are interested in building relationship skills and who also want to understand attachment behaviors are a good fit for this course. If you have noticed unpredictable triggers of attachment distress hijack your relationships, then this course is for you.

What is the time commitment?

Is there a community support group?

How long is this sale available?

Do I need to be in a partner relationship?

What if I'm afraid of this course content?

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is this course for?

People who are interested in building relationship skills and who also want to understand attachment behaviors are a good fit for this course. If you have noticed unpredictable triggers of attachment distress hijack your relationships, then this course is for you.

What is the time commitment?

Is there a community support group?

How long is this sale available?

Do I need to be in a partner relationship?

What if I'm afraid of this course content?

I hear you and understand. That's quite common actually. It takes courage to look at ourselves and behaviors, especially when they are linked to attachment trauma. Honor your intuition and go at your own pace. This course was filmed with an awareness that content might be triggering. Reminders for self-check-ins, body-scans, and taking breaks to process information are built into the presentation and workbook.

You're Invited!

I've helped thousands of people over the last 18 years to better understand attachment trauma and improve their relationships. Join me inside the Four Attachment Distress Responses Course to understand both your and your partner's patterns that guard against emotional availability. This course will help you navigate intimacy.

You're Invited!

I've helped thousands of people over the last 18 years to better understand attachment trauma and improve their relationships. Join me inside the Four Attachment Distress Responses Course to understand both your and your partner's patterns that guard against emotional availability. This course will help you make choices to navigate intimacy.

You're Invited!

I've helped thousands of people over the last eighteen years to better understand attachment trauma and improve their relationships. Join me inside the Four Attachment Distress Responses Course to understand both your and your partner's patterns that guard against emotional availability. This course will help you make choices to navigate intimacy.

The Four Attachment Distress Responses

© Copyrights by Alan Robarge. All Rights Reserved.

The Four Attachment Distress Responses

© Copyrights by Alan Robarge. All Rights Reserved.